Need proofreading help for Spanish and Italian

If you are fluent in Spanish or Italian, could you read over the following and let me know if there are errors and how to fix? Each line can only be 40 characters.
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Here is the original English version – note that some sentences take multiple lines, but that is only allowed in certain cases, and only the given number of lines is allowed.
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Title Information(English)
Header copy (1st line, 40ch) An advanced live music creation system!
Header copy (2nd line, 40ch) Easy and fun! Build song loops, chord
Header copy (3nd line, 40ch) changes, and solo live. Super flexible!
Display genre Music
# of players supplemental explanation (40ch)
One Musician, infinite capabilities.
Supported peripheral equipment
1st line (40ch) Nintendo DSi Stylus, Your creativity,
2nd line(40ch) Your inspiration, Your music, Your way
Commentary wording for release date(40ch)
for enhanced edition!
Commentary wording for price (40ch)
More features and sounds for the price!
Free Space
1 (40ch) Features:
2 (40ch) 12 Track Drum Loop Sequencer
3 (40ch) 8 Track Instrument Note Loop Sequencer
4     (40ch) 100 Drum / Instrument loops per song
5 (40ch) Auto-Key/Scale Recognition and Remapping
6 (40ch) 1000 Step Pattern Mode + Looping
7 (40ch) 166 Instrument Sounds, 122 Drum Sounds
8 (40ch) ADSR & Vibrato Sound Customization
9 (40ch) Live 2D Solo Mode using Stylus
10 (40ch) Easy visual editing scrolling display.
Web Title (40ch) Rhythm Core Alpha home page
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Here are the translations the translator was unsure of:
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Title Information(Spanish)
Header copy (1st line) Sistema avanzado de creación de música!
Header copy (2nd line) Fácil y divertido! Construir canciónes
Header copy (3nd line) cambiar acordes, solista en vivo!
Display genre Música
# of players supplemental explanation
Un músico, infinitas posibilidades
Supported peripheral equipment 1st line
El lápiz, su creatividad,
Supported peripheral equipment 2nd line
su inspiración, su música a tu manera
Commentary wording for release date
para la edición mejorada!
Commentary wording for price
Más características y sonidos!
Free Space
1 Características:
2 Secuenciador de 12 pistas de batería
3 Secuenciador de 8 pistas de instrumentos
4 100 loops de tamb./instr. por canción
5 Auto-Reconocimiento/Remap tono y escala
6 Modo Patrón con 1000 pasos y Looping
7 Sonidos: 166 instrumentos, 122 tambores
8 Personalización de vibrato y ADSR
9 Modo Solista 2D en vivo con lápiz
10 Pantalla se desplaza – edición facilita
Web Title Rhythm Core Alpha home page
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Title Information(Italian)
Header copy (1st line) Avanzato sistema per creare musica live
Header copy (2nd line) Facile e divertente! Costruire canzoni,
Header copy (3nd line) cambi di accordo, e solo dal vivo.
Display genre Musica
# of players supplemental explanation
Un musicista, infinite possibilità
Supported peripheral equipment 1st line
Lo stilo, la tua creatività, la tua
Supported peripheral equipment 2nd line
ispirazione, la tua musica, il tuo modo
Commentary wording for release date
per l’edizione migliore!
Commentary wording for price
Più caratteristiche/ suoni per il prezzo
Free Space
1 Caratteristiche:
2 Contr. di sequenza : 12 tracce batteria
3 Contr. di sequenza : 8 tracce strumento
4 100 loops per canzone
5 Auto-riconoscimento/remap chiave/scala
6 Modalità Motivo con 1000 passi e Looping
7 Suoni: 166 strumenti, 122 tamburi
8 Personalizzazione di vibrato e ADSR
9 Modalità Assolo 2D con stilo dal vivo
10 Scorrimento facilita la modifica
Web Title Rhythm Core Alpha home page
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Thanks in advance for any assistance you can offer!

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4 Responses to “Need proofreading help for Spanish and Italian”

  1. WMRhapsodies says:

    Hi there, just waiting for the european release here!…

    Here you have a much more accurate and stylish spanish translation (I’m spanish):

    ———-

    ¡Un avanzado sistema de creación musical!

    ¡Fácil y divertido! Crea canciones, sucesiones de
    acordes y toca en directo. ¡Súper flexible!

    Música

    Un músico, infinitas posibilidades

    El lápiz de DSi, tu creatividad,

    tu inspiración, tu musica, tu estilo

    ¡Edición mejorada!

    ¡Más posibilidades y sonidos!

    1 Características:

    2 Secuenciador de 12 pistas de batería

    3 Secuenciador de 8 pistas para instrumentos

    4 100 loops de instrumentos y batería por canción

    5 Detección y cambio automático de tono y escala

    6 Modo Patrón con 1000 pasos y looping

    7 166 sonidos instrumentales y 122 de percusión

    8 Personalización de vibrato y ADSR

    9 Modo Solista 2D en directo con el lápiz

    10 Pantalla deslizante para una edición fácil

    ————

    I think I kept within the 40 per line character limits. Any further doubt or questions feel free to contact me via mail :)

  2. WMRhapsodies says:

    Maybe I just go too far an too fast yesterday. Here you have what is wrong about the original…Sorry if my english is not too good, I’m better reading than writing:

    Header copy (1st line) Sistema avanzado de creación de música!

    (original is correct except for in spanish exclamation marks must be placed at the beginning of the sentence too)

    Header copy (2nd line) Fácil y divertido! Construir canciónes

    (again the missing exclamation mark. “Canciones” must not be accentuated)

    Header copy (3nd line) cambiar acordes, solista en vivo!

    (Missed exclamation sign. “en vivo” is correct, “en directo” just better)

    Display genre

    Música

    (correct)

    # of players supplemental explanation

    Un músico, infinitas posibilidades

    (correct)

    Supported peripheral equipment 1st line

    El lápiz, su creatividad,

    (see below)

    Supported peripheral equipment 2nd line

    su inspiración, su música a tu manera

    (In spanish there are two ways to say “you” and “your”, the original mixes both and is incorrect and confusing. “Su” is a way to show respect (similar to that ancient english forms “Thou”, “Thee”…). Is more appropiate to use “tu”. “Manera” is correct but a bit unspecific).

    Commentary wording for release date

    para la edición mejorada!

    (Missing exclamation mark again. Correct but weird sentence structure. “¡para una edición mejorada!” would be right)

    Commentary wording for price

    Más características y sonidos!

    (Missing exclamation mark)

    Free Space
    1 Características:

    (Correct)

    2 Secuenciador de 12 pistas de batería

    (Correct)

    3 Secuenciador de 8 pistas de instrumentos

    (Correct)

    4 100 loops de tamb./instr. por canción

    (Tamb./instr. ???. Also: “Tambor” in spanish means only some of the entire drum sounds. “percusión” means all kinds of drum sounds. “Batería”=drum kit)

    5 Auto-Reconocimiento/Remap tono y escala

    (“Remap” is not a spanish word. “cambio” is unspecific but cannot find a better word myself)

    6 Modo Patrón con 1000 pasos y Looping

    (Correct. No needing for caps in “Looping”. Even if “loop/looping” are not spanish words they have become common in musical contexts )

    7 Sonidos: 166 instrumentos, 122 tambores

    (The “tambor” thing again)

    8 Personalización de vibrato y ADSR

    (correct)

    9 Modo Solista 2D en vivo con lápiz

    (correct, but weird sentence structure)

    10 Pantalla se desplaza – edición facilita

    (unarticulated sentence)

    Web Title Rhythm Core Alpha home page

  3. admin says:

    Thank you for your translations and corrections! We’ll do our best to get them in, given the 40 character limits set on us by Nintendo!

  4. admin says:

    Just sent them off. Hope Nintendo doesn’t mind me updating the form after the initial submission.

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